Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Anyone Else Done with Election Coverage?

How many points are the democrats leading by Pennsylvania? How much money has Barack spent in Ohio? Where did Sarah Palin get that amazing lobotomy? Turns out, I don't care anymore. I keep hearing about these undecided voters, maybe they care. Who are these fickle people that need to hear all about the campaign trail in order to make up there minds? Don't they know that they're taking up valuable time on Fresh Air, where Terry Gross could be interviewing Kevin Smith about his new cinematic treasure, "Zack and Miri..."

I don't think I've ever hung out with an undecided person in my life. I'm currently surrounded by lefties (except potentially at family gatherings), and I don't think there's anything a politician could say, or that the media could report about that would shift those votes. Maybe if it was reported that McCain were a pinko commie, or that Barack was an alien (not an illegal one, but actually AN ALIEN...maybe not though, since a large portion of the the democratic population belong to P.E.T.A., people for the ethical treatment of aliens. Find out more at www.stopalienautopsies.org.)

I think NPR should have 2 stations during election season. One has election coverage all-day, everyday (the current plan). The other shifts topics every hour on the hour to keep those of us with Adult ADD attentive and informed all day long. This other station will also be used during pledge drives for those of us who have already donated!

Does anyone out there know what's going on in the world that doesn't involve Barack, McCain or Mortgage Backed Securities? Fill me in if you do...

3 comments:

shane said...

If mccain was a commie he wouldnt be running for president. He would know that only the working class has the power to end the war, poverty, healthcare crisis and so forth. Further he would know that an election is going to do him no good. Until the workers of the world realize that the means of production lay in 1% of the populations hands, revolt, and take them back into their hands, then nothing will change. Luckily History/dialectics teaches us that conciousness will raise and things will change. A vote for mccain/obama is not a vote for change, it is a vote for reaction.

If you are unhappy about all the commercials on NPR, you should write your congressman. ahhaahhaahahaaha

Oh... maddonna got divorced, the phils are in the world series, micheal bay is remaking friday the 13th and some shark gave a virgin birth.

your next article should be a rant about a question that has been burning in the back of my mind: "why on earth was i kickin it with your Ree, jack and tina the other night? I mean, I know why... but seriously... WHY?"

Like great Russian Lenin once said, "quit rockin the bong."

GO BLAZERS!

lets crush some this weekend, holla!

Lindsay said...

Oh my goodness, Justin, there was a fabulous Daily Show last week about undecided folks that would be right up your alley. I think we deleted it. :-(

a. steward said...

Dude, the 2 station strategy is brilliant. But which one would get Frank DeFord on the world series?